Day 315- "Axe" a question

As a substitute teacher in a mediocre school district, I hear this a lot.  "I needa axe you a question" or "I axed you a question."

I wish I could say this back to those students:  "No, you may not 'axe' me a question.  I don't speak Walmart."

I think that would be frowned upon.

Day 314- How to know that your parents don't love you

 

They buy you RoseArt.  Now, I understand why they would buy me RoseArt and my sister Crayola.  This is awkward.

Day 313- It's my spot

Game of Thrones' season finale is tonight.  I vote for Sheldon to win the throne.  After all, it's his spot.

Day 312- Awkward situations

"Whenever a situation goes down, I feel the desperate urge to do a Jim face to an imaginary camera."

I do this sometimes.  It's usually when some one does something unbelievably stupid or when I can't believe something is actually happening.  This is why I need a camera crew to follow me around at all times.

Day 311- Cure an Itchy Scalp

My scalp has been itching for days.  I think it's because of my allergies.  My whole body itches, but my scalp itch is very intense and won't go away. 

I saw a pin about how to get rid of an itchy scalp, so I decided to give it a try.  Basically, you pour some Listerine mouthwash onto your hair and let it sit for a few minutes before rinsing. 

Let me tell you- it felt amazing when I poured the mouthwash onto my scalp.  Freaking amazing.  Then, I waited a few minutes before washing it off.

As soon as I got out of the shower, my scalp started itching again.  It didn't work, but my hair smells minty fresh.

I am so bummed about this.  Does anyone know how to get rid of an itchy scalp?

Day 310- If Monday was a person

I know that today is Thursday, but I feel like it is a Monday.  I did not want to get up this morning.  It's cold and rainy and all I want to do is go back to bed. 

I totally get how this person feels.

Day 309- Nike Women's Marathon

I saw this on Pinterest.  After I run the Chicago Marathon, I'm so going to run the Nike Women's Marathon in San Francisco.   When you finish running, you get a Tiffany necklace given to you by firefighter in a tux.

If that doesn't motivate you to run a marathon, nothing will.